I didn’t always hate Valentine’s Day. Generally, I’m one of those people who loves a good holiday. I was the kid who stuck candy-cane in my hair around Christmastime, painted my face for football game days and wore bunny ears for Easter. I love holidays!

When I was a sophomore in high school, I was surprised by a guy I barely knew. He got me flowers, candy, a teddy bear…the whole thing. It was an incredibly sweet gesture and he had only met me a week before.

When I was a sophomore in college, a boy gave me a vase of orchids for Valentine’s Day. We hadn’t known each other long, but he gave me a totally sweet and thoughtful gift that made my whole day.

I recount these awesome events to point out the fact that they have inevitably ruined this holiday for me. I find myself borderline expecting something magical to happen on this holiday…much like a child who’s parents do something very special for them on their birthday and then forget a year. The kid can’t help but be disappointed.

It doesn’t help that commercials, movies, tv shows, music and people in general hype up the holiday. Single people can’t help but feel that this holiday isn’t for them.

It points out yet again the painful fact that I’m still single. I have been for 2 years now. It isn’t terrible and it isn’t debilitating because God knows, I am busy enough taking care of business without someone/something else in the mix. At least I have a family, right? Some people can’t even say that.

Yet, those doubts come along around this time of year…
Is it the extra weight I’ve put on? I’m trying to lose it!
Am I closed off? I don’t even know how to flirt with a guy.
Am I not sweet enough for these Christian guys to notice me? Not ‘girl-next-door’ enough?
What if the truth of it is, I’m just not the type of girl that guys want?
Maybe my standards are too high and I should just date the not-cute guys…or creepy guys.
At least I like cats…because it would be a long road without company!


Okay, perhaps I’m being a bit dramatic for 24. People keep telling me how young I am and that I should worry about it. Thing is, I’m not worried, I’m excited! I would make a terrific wife for a Godly man yet year after year, while my friends pair up and get married or have children, I’m still single. I want that! I want all of those things. I want to be married for a few years before having children…I don’t want to get married at 35 and then feel like the clock is ticking and I had better get moving.

Obviously God put a desire to get married into my heart. If so, then why hasn’t he provided some great, Christian guy for me?

Some people say if you stop wanting something, it will happen.

I think that’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. If I stopped wanting a job, would it fall into my lap? If I stopped wanting an education, would it just fall into my lap? If I stopped wanting to serve God, would opportunity just fall into my lap? I don’t think marriage is some mystical thing that happens if you pray hard enough and act like you don’t care enough. Perhaps this is advice that people thing will help girls who are desperate for a relationship and put men off because they want it so much. Man, I hope that’s not me!

I also believe that wanting something that God ordained for us is not wrong. How could it be? God MADE us to be relational and suddenly, people think it’s taboo for us to desire the very thing God made us for. WEIRD, I know.

I guess what I’m really trying to say is, I’m free…if anyone is looking for a Valentine’s Day date. As friend or whatever, I’m free. :)

Happy VD all!